Trust me, there is nothing simple about reaching a decision to save yourself when it comes to addiction. There is a difference between giving up and knowing when you’ve had enough, both hold a lot of weight on a personal level, but knowing when you’ve had enough may be what saves you in the end. Throughout my years I have dealt with both alcoholism and drug addiction. Not through personal consumption, but from those close to me. Trust me when I say, it can become a cycle that you try your hardest to get away from, only to lose your footing and continue going in circles. I don’t know how or at what point I finally grabbed that rope to get away from it, but I did and despite the many heartaches that I have gone through, I have come out a much stronger person, a much stronger woman.
I recently reconnected with a man from my past and he asked me how I did it, why am I not broken? Why did I stay with him so long despite the alcohol abuse and horrible treatment? What made him someone that I would even consider talking to again?
My answer was simple enough, I am not the same person he knew back then, I have changed, have grown personally and regardless of our past, reaching out to me took a lot of courage and I respect him for it. I am definitely still in a fog over his contact, I figured he was FB stalking me and accidentally hit the ‘Friend Request’ button, but no, it was intentional. There’s a part of me that due to past experience, wonders what his actual intentions may be, but regardless, until I find out otherwise, I will not turn my back on him in his time of need, at least over the phone. Personally, one on one, no, not something that my heart will let me do, there is a history there and a reason we are ex’s, that I will not deny. Truthfully there is something to be said about living in different states. 🙂
Trying to figure out what is the best choice to make isn’t going to come easy, it isn’t going to just fall right into place once you make the decision. Giving yourself the room to objectively look at what you have and what you deserve is probably the best place to start.