The last few days have been unfortunately very trying. Russ’ dad passed away yesterday. He was a strong, and as stubborn as they come kind of man, who lived his life according to his own terms and went out the same way. As focus now turns to Russ’ mom, who after 58 years has to learn to live without her mate, the family comes together to ensure her health is covered and her emotional needs are met. Continue Reading
Despite my mood altering dream earlier this morning and the feeling of ‘how am I suppose to fall back asleep now’ kind of mindset, against all odds, I did slip back into a slumber. Although not one that I preferred which would have been an uninterrupted one, but comfortable enough obviously that I got about 3 hours worth of shut eye. This occurrence doesn’t leave me feeling like all is lost or a shattered, broken mess, well, at least not anymore. What it does do is remove that extra bounce from my step for the day. It is not a full on depression enhancer or trigger, it’s just one of those things that doesn’t make me feel like climbing to the top of a tree or roof and screaming out loud to the world, “Hey look at me, here I am, still”.
There is nothing worse than waking to a dream that drops you to your knees, shakes the very core of everything that you are and everything that you’ve become. To be reminded of how empty you once were is a scary thought in itself. Not so much the memory of where you were at that particular time, but not knowing if it’s possible to be back in that same situation at some point in the future.