When it comes to Russ, there is nothing really conventional about our relationship. I have known him for just over 5 years, initially as a room-mate when I first started working in Phoenix. The commute from my moms home to the office was a bit long and I endured that crazy ass drive for about 8 months. Our room-mate status lasted about 2 years until I found a place of my own, but our friendship never waivered, in fact it grew stronger with time. We both had relationships with other people during this time, as things happen neither relationship worked out. The current arrangement we have started less than a year ago, after my breakup with Hotness. Relationship wise, we have a great friendship, arrangement wise, we become a significant other when needed, we have an understanding and respect for the other persons boundaries, there are no strings attached and neither of us put any type of demands on what to expect from the other.
Despite all that has happened, wishing ill-will upon the men that hurt me just isn’t in my nature nor does it accomplish anything that would right any wrongs of the past. Things happened, people were hurt, pain was caused, anger was screamed and still we breathe. Yeah my little trip down memory lane may have been or seemed one-sided, but that’s a right I have. They are my thoughts, my feelings, my inner demons. What ever thoughts the ex’s may have had during our time together is not something I need to figure out, it’s not my place and completely out of my control.
When I left California over 5 years ago, it was on the haunting belief that the man that I had shared a life with for the prior 5 years was hot on my heels, willing to follow through with a threat that sent me on my drive to begin with. For a few months prior to arriving in Arizona, I sought safety and refuge from Joe’s family, spending my time surrounded by those willing to lay down their life for me, even though I could do nothing to save their son, brother, friend, family member. Regardless of the events that happened between Joe and myself, they never held their pain and loss against me. Within hours of my initial call, I was scooped up at a family members home and taken to Oregon, to the family ‘compound’… about the best way I can describe it.